I have never really enjoyed wearing hats. I have an XL head, so hats never fit quite right - they are never big enough or deep enough or conforming enough or something. Not sure what it is, but hats just feel like things on the top of my head. My sister recently confirmed that they don't look good on me either. When she came to visit, I showed her some of the hats I had already selected. Maybe the problem lies in my selection, because she laughed out loud at some without even seeing them on my head. I put a couple on, and she laughed some more. "Maybe if you turn the brim up? Or down?" Didn't matter. They still just felt weird.
After I was diagnosed with BC and knew chances were good that I would lose my hair to chemo, I went online to look at some headcoverings. Most were pretty inexpensive, but I knew the websites could not fool me. The mannequins and live models that the hats were shown on were petite noggins, not a giant-sized German woman's skull. They were also modeled by cute little feminine faces with button noses and tiny ears. I have neither.
I stopped by some of my favorite thrift stores and just grabbed a variety of hats just so I wouldn't be without. It is deathly cold in Iowa right now, and I have to have something. I also grabbed some scarves, which I love wearing. Around my NECK, not on my HEAD. I might wear some like a do-rag when the weather is warmer, but typically I will wear two or even three scarves at a time.
Recently a friend shipped me a gift package of hats and scarves, and they look really great ... in the box. I haven't been courageous enough to try them on yet. The hats look like they will fit, because they have elastic at the backs of the bands, and I know the scarves will, I'm just too chicken to find out for sure. If not, I am pretty sure I can exchange for larger sizes on the hats.
Many of you blog readers who were already friends with me on Facebook will already know that I allowed my husband to use his clippers to give me a buzzcut in anticipation of complete hair loss. Even though my hair was pretty short, I just didn't want to deal with clumps of hair coming out in handfuls. My doc said it would fall out 8-14 days after chemo, but it could take up to three weeks. In just five days that three weeks will be up, and I still have my hair.
My scalp has been very tender, and with the buzzcut, anytime something touches my scalp it feels like a thousand needles on my skin with each individual shaft of hair poking me. Once I get a hat on, as long as it is one that doesn't shift around, I can deal with it. At night when going to bed, I have to make sure that I lay my head on the pillow in the direction my hair is growing, and then hope I fall asleep before I have to move my head.
I know many people choose wigs, but I just can't take wigs seriously. Not that I am making fun of women who prefer the wig route, it's just not for me. I did buy a wig once - a black curly mop from The Theatrical Shop to complete my Rocky Horror Picture Show costume thirty years ago. I think I still have that packed away somewhere with a pair of platform shoes.
The only wig style that remotely interests me would be an early Cher wig, with long glossy black hair, center part, and a headband attached to hold it in place. Having grown up with curly, light brown hair, I think I could rock a Cher wig. My second choice would be a platinum Phyllis Diller-esque fright wig, looking like she just stuck her finger in a light socket. I could acquire both of these wig styles and wear them comfortably in public.
Maybe not.
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